Voy a olvidarte, like how I planned to.
Voy a borrarte, like how I have been wanting to.
Ya no puedo amarte, even though I want to.
No puedo perdonarte, even if I wanted to.
Yo he tratado, but there is too much damage.
Estoy luchando, I have been.
Aquí es donde continúo putting me first, like how I should have in the beginning.
Voy a olvidarte, even if part of me doesn’t want to.
El amor que tengo por ti is somewhere, pero ya no está aquí.
Porque te amo, I know I will search for it.
***If you’ve made it down here, I bet you’re wondering why half of this is in spanish, and well, my only explanation is that I came across a song called “Voy a Olvidarte” and listening and reading the lyrics only made me feel a little more. When expressing half these words, I felt that the half in spanish had more meaning.
Anyways, I’m very aware that the title says, “Voy a Olvidarte” meaning “I’m going to forget you”, but I know that is the easier way out. I know it’s not exactly what I want. It’s the weak side of me speaking. This weak side that really has no limit on how it decides to express itself. I can be rude, I can be blunt, I can be inconsiderate. I’ve seen myself be this person these last few days.
I’m tired of me being this person who never put herself first.
I was this person who continuously took little hits as if I was a punching bag.
Telling myself that I am this person and my love is tested this way.
I kept saying that it was okay when it really wasn’t.
Now, I am acting out in the most childish ways, but I won’t apologize for it because I know what I have done and I am aware of what I am doing.